Mirror, Mirror

Show of hands, how many of you have ever stood in front of a mirror and given yourself a little pep talk? Maybe it went a little something like this:


Do they work for you guys? Maybe mine do a little. Mostly, I just look at my reflection, get geared up, and laugh at myself. That makes me feel loads better. As much as I could stand there and say, "Yeah man, you got this," or "You DA MAN brah. You. DA. MAN." Praise is always more effective when it comes from someone else. A friend of mine will soon move across the country, this prompted me to make a parting gift that would serve as a constant reminder of what I thought of said friend.

I call it, "Mirror, Mirror."

Behold the making thereof:

First, you take a mirror:

The you cut a stencil out of vinyl to stick to the mirror, I practiced on paper first to get it right:

Next, apply the vinyl stencils to the mirror, then cover the stencil area generously with glass etching cream. Do not get it anywhere else, or it will etch any glass it touches:

Wait about 5 minutes, then wash the cream off quickly with flowing water, peal off the stencils, and voila:

Here's an action shot, enjoy:

Sick on My Day Off...

I seem to have enjoyed yesterday's inclement weather a bit too much. I think I've caught a nasty cold.

So today I feel like this:

Poor guy...

But it is my day off, so I'm gonna pretend that I feel like this:

I feel better already.

I Am Seriously Considering the Following Scenario:

1. I go to a thrift store.
2. I buy a cheap black suit, white shirt, and black tie.
3. I get myself done up all nice and stuff in the new second-hand gear.
4. I wear tennis shoes with the suit.
5. I go to the gym, smile at every one, then proceed to the second floor.
6. I smile at the friendly people on the treadmills, who think, "Who is this well-dressed man?"
7. I step onto a treadmill, set it to a speed of 8, and run like a crazy person until the entire suit is soaked with sweat (about 10-15 minutes).
8. I step off of the treadmill, and produce a small hanky from my coat, which I use to wipe my brow slightly.
9. I Adjust my tie, re-tuck my shirt, then turn and calmly walk out the door.

I'm not into cars, but I'd get into a few of these, if you know what I mean.

I am a man by the strict definition of my gender. Also because I have an unhealthy lust for saw dust... There are a few "manly" things that I just haven't ever been able to get into though, like watching sports, or being interested in cars.

I've never seen a car as anything more than a piece of transportation. I like a car that I can fit in, and is spacious, and has a good stereo. That's it. I've never really cared about brands or motors or anything. My wife is much better at identifying cars than I am. Her dream is an "Audi A4," whatever that is. If I'm asked to identify a car, I will say, "That is a pickup truck," or "That is a sedan," or "That is a hideous beast." So I went on happy in my ignorance to automotive beauty, until I saw this one car, in this one movie, I thought, "Now that is a nice piece of machinery... Mmm... Yes, very nice indeed."

That is when I realized that my disinterest in cars was due to the fact that all cars that are not in a sci fi movie are boring. So now I'm into cars, and here is a list of the ones that I would like to collect:

1. The Delorean from Back to the Future II.

It must have the Mr. Fusion upgrade, I don't wanna have to lie to terrorists for plutonium. Also, it must really take me back in time to Hill Valley in 1955.

2. Optimus Prime

The semi itself is cool. I'd throw a mini hot tub in there and a flat screen, then he could transform into a giant robot and kill all the pidgeons in my back yard. I HATE those rat-birds.

3. The Ecto-1

Nothing says "Hi, my name is Josh, and I like to party," better than rolling up in one of these, sirens blaring. Then you can let a few ghosts out and party like it's 1984.

4. The Batmobile

I'm partial to the 1989 Michael Keaton vehicle, but I'd take any of the three. Especially the 1989 one. You know, the one in the middle there, from 1989...

5. The Rolls Royce Phantom

Ah yes... and yes. Let's get slightly more real for a minute shall we? Real because this is a real car, slightly less real, because I will never, ever afford it. This is the car that I saw that made me think,  "Now that is a nice piece of machinery... Mmm... Yes, very nice indeed." This is my dream car. The car that if I could have any real car in the world, I would have this car. It is the Rolls Royce Phantom. Driven by Nicholas Cage in The Sorcerer's Apprentice. It is oh, so beautiful, and now, it is one of only three cars that I can name by sight. 

The other two cars that I can name by sight are the Dodge Caravan, and the Toyota Sienna.

GLaDOS, The Potato.

My favorite games on the planet are Portal and Portal 2. I love the challenging puzzles, I love the story, and I love the humor. If you haven't played Portal, you should, it's great. The main evil entity in the series is GLaDOS, a sentient computer who lives to carry out testing for the Aperture Science Laboratory's "enrichment center." After completing some testing in part 1, GLaDOS tries to kill you, but you hunt her down and destroy (or deactivate) her. In part 2, she gets reactivated, but shortly after beginning tests again, she is replaced by another evil computer, named Wheatley, who then places GLaDOS into a potato battery:


The point of telling you all that is so that you would understand what I'm talking about when I told you that I made a plush, talking GLaDOS potato.
Here she is:

And here's mine:

I do hope they make a part 3.

I Sense a Disturbance in the Force...

Last weekend, I took the wife shopping to some of her favorite out-of-town stores. We spent 2 days perusing the shops, which meant that I spent 2 days surfing the net on my iPhone. As I surfed, I came across numerous do it yourself projects that I thought I might like to try. One of those was sewing together little felt creatures. It looked easy enough, so I figured that I would try it, and make 3 little monsters, each modeled after one of my 3 kids. Today the wife taught me to use her sewing machine, and I made the creatures. Here they are:




First for my oldest son:


To fit his morbid sense of humor, and love of scaring people, I made him The Black Phantom, a specter from another dimension that scares people when they least expect it.

Then for my middle boy:




He is my sensitive one. He loves everyone and has those half moon shaped eyes when he smiles. He is also the most insane of my 3 kids, so I made him Huggy-Boom. A monster from the other dimension who uses his 4 arms to hug as many people as he can, before he explodes.

Finally, for my little Monkey:




I made a little monkey! This monkey shares my son's underbite, and love of climbing, bananas, and stomping around seeking entertainment. His name is Moonkey. He came to our dimension seeking some hydrocortisone for his exceedingly itchy bum:

The Elder Wand (Yet Another Man Cave Decoration Project)

If you've been following this blog, then you know that I love me my Man Cave. You have seen that I like to decorate it with themed decorations from some of my favorite things, like retro video games, favorite childhood cartoons and shows, and what not. When my wife told me that I could have complete authority over how the room was decorated, I already had a list of things in mind that I would like to see incorporated into the room. The list went something like this:

Old school games, probably Tetris shelves (this was the only thing that I knew I would build from the get-go).

Something Star Wars.

Something Harry Potter.

Well, then I decided that I wanted to make most of the stuff, because let's face it, you just can't find video game themed furniture at the furniture store, and if I make it, I could guarantee that it would be unique. So I set about designing the room, and building or acquiring the decor. Inspiration, however, did not come in the order of my original list. As the inspiration came, I built/printed/decorated and ended up with the following:

Tetris Bookshelves

Greatest American Hero Clock

Pac Man Sconces and Fevorite Cartoon Pictures

The Wood Sword from The Legend of Zelda

As you can see from the list above, the only thing that made it into the Man Cave from my original list so far were the Tetris shelves. Other than the GAH clock, cartoon pictures, and a few other things strewn about the Tetris shelves, the room is mainly old-school-game oriented. That is totally cool with me, but I still wanted something Harry Potter and Star Wars in there. Originally the spot where the Wood Sword is mounted was meant for a stuffed Tauntaun head from Star Wars, but that was unoriginal and too complicated to make, so I'm still contemplating Star Wars. Harry Potter, though, I got that done today.

For my "something Harry Potter" I've thought about several things from a talking Sorting Hat to the Sword of Godric Griffindor, but I'm out of room for big displays now. Finally I decided on one of the Deathly Hallows mentioned in the final book, so I had a few choices. Once I decided that the Elder Wand was what I wanted, then I just had to either spend a ridiculous amount of money on an official replica from the Noble Collection, or make one of my own design. Neither seemed too appealing at first, the replica would be expensive and not unique, whereas a homemade wand might require the use of a lathe and hours of work for something tiny, so I put that on the back burner, until I found some online instructions on how to make a nice, sturdy wand out of paper, hot glue, and paint. That inspired me, now I have my own version of the Elder Wand sitting in its rightful place atop the Tetris Bookshelves. Here's the photo barrage:

I took a piece of card stock and a hot glue gun, then rolled the card stock up diagonally, slightly tighter at one end to create a taper. I used double-sided tape and Elmer's glue to hold the paper together. Once that dried, I cut the ends straight, stuffed it with tissue, and used the hot glue to plug both ends and create a design around the wand:

Once the hot glue dries, it just needs paint. I decided that I wanted the Elder Wand to look like it was made from ivory as opposed to wood, so I chose an almond color for the base coat. After the base coat dried, I then "distressed" the wand by watering down some black paint, painting the wand black, then quickly wiping most of the black off. Finally I used silver paint to highlight the graphic around the wand. Here's what that looked like done:

Finally I just needed a stand. I didn't feel like constructing one out of wood though, so I thought that I'd just make a quick one out of a piece of paper.

Here's the finished wand on the shelves:

Now, how to fit Star Wars in this room...?

Casting Call!!!

Have you ever watched a show, and been like, "That person is terrible in that role!" then come up with better alternatives? I do sometimes, and here's my latest:

In Smallville, this woman played Granny Goodness

Um... Ok, so she's got the Granny part down, but that's about it.
Here's a sample of the real Granny Goodness:

You know who would have been better for that role?

Coach Beist!