June: A Techno Nerd's Dream

This month has been awesome if you're a gamer/Apple nerd. First, we got to see the awesomeness that is the iPhone 4, then there was E3, which is a huge conference where the video game industry unveils their newest games and technology to the world, to market their consoles, and get people pumped to go buy them.

First things first, iPhone 4:

I've been waiting for this phone for a long time, ever since the 3GS was released just a few short months after I bought the 3G. I thought about upgrading, but listened to some rumors of a major overhaul, and decided to wait. I'm glad I did. I was planning on going and camping out on launch day (because I'm a nerd, and we do stuff like that), but I am scheduled to work that day, so I thought I'd preorder the phone instead. That was a mess. I was trying for 1 hour before I finally got confirmation that my order went through (5-6 am PST). It is supposed to come on launch day, but AT&T sold out of preorder phones by 4:30 EST on day 1 of preordering, so we'll see if I'm lucky. Today I have been sitting and waiting for my old and crusty 3G to update to iOS4 all day, so I thought I'd blog.

Now on to E3 2010:

I like video games, a lot. Mostly I like the ones that challenge my brain more than my thumbs. I also like a game to have a great story, or back story, and humor always helps too. Granted, I do like regular beat-em-ups, RPGs, and shooters too (sometimes mind-numbing destruction is a great way to unwind at the end of the day), but these usually have to have some special edge (like Marvel vs Capcom 2, Elder Scrolls, or Team Fortress 2). As much as I like games, I don't purchase games too frequently, because I'll only buy a game if I know I'm really going to enjoy it. I get more use out of my PS3 as a bluray player, or for streaming netflix, than I do for gaming. So usually when E3 comes around, I am more excited about the hardware than the software. This year, however, the hardware was... meh. I'm not all that excited about the Playstation Move, or the Microsoft Kinect (formerly Project Natal). Don't get me wrong, they will be fun, but they are nothing new. The only new thing about them is that now we have release dates. I was really hoping for a newer, more awesome version of the PSP, but nada there. I was on the verge of feeling a little let down by this years E3, then they wrapped up the hardware talk, and got into the software, which was AWESOME. So here are some of the titles I'm excited about:



And



So those are ok. The one I really can't wait for though is Portal 2. The original Portal remains one of my favorite games ever, it is an original puzzle game with a hilarious story. Here is the trailer for the original:



Basically you wake up as a test subject for the Aperture science Portal device, and have to perform many death defying tests under the guidance of a female, robotic voice, which promises you cake and grief counselling when you are finished. Eventually, you find out that the computerized voice that has guided you through the whole thing is trying to kill you and you need to escape. You then find out that the whole facility has been abandoned for some time (or maybe the robot killed them all), as you come upon messages written on walls in hidden areas that read things like "The Cake is a Lie." Eventually you face the robot, tear it apart and get sucked outside in a huge facility meltdown. Once the game is finished, you are treated to this song as GLaDOS (the AI robot controlling everything) assures you that the test was a success, and she is still alive.



At the end, while you are lying outside the facility unable to move, a robot shows up and thanks you for "assuming the party escort position," and drags you back inside. If you know me, you can see why I love this game. It is an intellectual puzzle with a hilarious and mysterious story. The game came bundled with Valve's Orange Box, with Half Life 2 and Team Fortress 2, because it was a short game with a new theme, and the company saw it as a bit of a gamble, so it was released as part of a package with other "hit" games. I bought the package, just for Portal, and it remains the one game that I will play over and over. So, if nothing else at E3 excited me, the following trailer would have been enough:



Dude, I can't wait.

Lost Q&A

Before you read any part of this post, know that there is an abundance of spoilers here, so if you haven't watched Lost, and are planning to, don't read this post, instead, go watch Lost.

Last night brought an end to one of my favorite TV series ever. When it began, I hated the first episode and dismissed it as "Castaway, with Jack Shepard taking Tom Hanks' role, and John Locke as Wilson the Volleyball" and I never watched another episode again. Until a couple of months ago that is. I heard the series was ending, and decided to give it another chance. Turns out episode 2 sucked me in.

Now it is over, and I have had a night to think about what was answered, and what was not, and this is what I've come up with (I'm going to try to stick to the stuff that was answered recently, or not answered, I won't go into any details on stuff that was answered a long time ago, like what is in that hatch):

Q: Whoah man, what is up with this sideways universe where the island is on the bottom of the sea, and flight 815 never crashed?
A: It is not really a sideways universe, or reality, it is the same one, just happening later, after everyone has died. Everyone is given a chance to live their lives slightly differently and see what kind of people they would have been if they never went to the island. It was a kind of limbo, where they all waited for each other, and to remember their past lives before they could move on.

Q: Ok, if it is the after life, why could the island Desmond see it?
A: Try to remember what happened the first time Desmond was exposed to electromagnetic radiation (when he turned the key in the hatch). The exposure gave him the ability to see flashes into the future. The reason Desmond could see the sideways story was because Whitmore exposed him to electromagnetic radiation again, which made him see a super glimpse way into the future, after they were all dead. He just didn't know what he was seeing.

Q: what was the light, and where did it come from?
A: Not really addressed. Here's as much as it is:


It is the same light that is in every man. That brings up an interesting point. At the beginning of the sideways storyline, The island was at the bottom of the ocean. Since this is the future, after everyone is dead, that could mean that someone eventually succeeded in sinking the island.

Q: What happened to Michael?
A: this one was actually answered a while ago. He died on the boat, and was doomed to walk the island as one of the whispering spirits.

Q: What was all that whispering in earlier seasons?
A: Doomed spirits, trapped on the island after they die. They sometimes serve as a warning.

Q: What was up with the Dharma Initiative?
A: They were a group of scientists who found the island, and set up shop to study its unique properties.

Q: Why did Jacob even bring people to the island if it could mean his death?
A: To prove his brother wrong about all other people being evil.

Q: Who were the Others, and how did they get to the island? How did the people in the temple get to the island?
A: Not really addressed, presumably they are people that Jacob had brought to the island in the past.

Q: Where did those polar bears come from!?
A: This was semi addressed a couple of times, but without a final, conclusive answer. At first the cause seemed to be Walt, and his "special" talents, which we will cover in the next question. The other explanation is that they were the bears in the cages on Hydra Island, though there is no explanation as to how or why they came to the main island, perhaps they swam?

Q: Why and how is Walt so special!?
A: This, to me, is the biggest non-addressed issue of the series. Everything else was kind of answered, but not this. From a writer's perspective, Walt got off the island because he was growing up fast, and didn't fit the role anymore. He was a 12 year old playing the role of an 8 year old, and it couldn't last long enough to explain his specialness. Here's what we do know: there are "special" people on this show. Hurley was special, he could see and talk to dead people. Miles was special, he could also communicate with the dead in a different way. Walt was special, because the show said he was. Here's my theory: In flashbacks to Walt's life before the island, we saw a stepfather who didn't want him anymore after his mother died, and even feared him because of his specialness. During one scene in Walt's stepfather's home. Walt summons a bird, which crashed into a window and died, or was knocked out. We are led to believe that Walt summoned the bird, because he was reading a book about the same bird. This brings us to the first semi-explanation offered for the existence of the polar bears on the island. We found that each time they showed up, Walt was reading his Spanish comic book, that he found on the island. After the second polar bear attack, we get to see a page from that comic book:

So the first hint at Walt's specialness, and the polar bears being on the island is that Walt has the ability to summon that which he reads about, or concentrates on. Later, after Walt grew up and couldn't be on the show any more, the writers offered the second explanation for the polar bears, which was the zoo on Hydra Island. The actor grew up, so he was allowed to leave the island. The show hinted that his specialness was even too much for the others, and that's why they let him leave, because they were a little scared too. Walt also seemed to have the ability to project himself to other places, like when he was in the others' custody, but conveniently showed up dripping wet, just in time to get Shannon killed, or after he was off the island, and showed up to see John Locke, after Ben shot John and left him in a hole. None of this had any definitive closure or explanation though, so we'll all just have to sit around and theorize until Walt magically shows up in our living room with a bird on his shoulder, riding on a polar bear.

Q: How did Jacob get off the island?
A: Not addressed. If he leaves, can't the man in black leave? I have no idea.

Well, that's about all the questions I can think of now. Let me know what you got, or what you think of my theories, or what your theories are. In the mean time, I leave you with this touching recap of the series:

How Will it End?

I have no idea, but we'll all know soon enough. Really, I just wanted an excuse to post this picture.

Never Buy a Kia

So here's the deal: Kias are trash. Most everyone could guess this, I know it now, and have always known it. My advice for all of the car shoppers out there is that, if a company offers a fantastic warranty (50,000 mile bumper-to-bumper/ 100,000 mile power-train), there is a reason that they are offering it (like, because their vehicles are garbage). I knew that Kias were terrible cars all along, even when I was in the dealership purchasing one back in 2005. So why did I buy one? Because I was a poor student, couldn't afford anything that would last, and just needed a safe family vehicle to last until we could get something better. I thought that at least the warranty would guarantee us a working van until I could get something else. There, I explained my flawed logic. Happy now?

Well now here we are. I've graduated, I'm making money, so the Kia decides, "Thanks for buying me you sucker, now I'm gonna give up the ghost, because you can get something better." To which I reply, "Woah there buddy, not so fast. I've still got these student loans, and the house payment (student loans + Mortgage = Mortgage x 2), and we're still paying for you. So I'm not ready to let you die yet man, not to mention your garage brother, Mr. '99 Toyota Corolla should be the first to die." Mr. Corolla wakes up and says, "Wha...? No way man, *cough* I'm good...," as his door handle explodes into dust when I try to open it.

So the Kia sounds like a wounded, fat cow with heart failure, trying to climb an escalator going the wrong way. Oh, and the escalator is covered in grease, and the cow has arthritis in all four knees (basically, it's a McDonald's ranch cow, Mmm...). So I consult with the wife's brothers, who know a bit about cars (which is a lot more than I do). They both say, "sounds like the water pump." Then I take it to a mechanic I trust, Doctor Auto. Mike, the main man there, tells me that the water pump is out, and all of the belts need replaced. I really trust this guy, so I'm about to say, "let's do it," which would essentially be like signing a fat check to Doctor Auto, but Mike cuts in before I get that far and says, "I hate to lose the business, but what kind of warranty do you have on this van?" I told him it was of the 50,000 B to B variety, and he said, "you've got 200 more miles to go until that expires, so while I hate to lose your business, take it back to Kia, and see if the water pump is covered." I say, "Thanks, and really, you may have lost this fix, but you haven't lost my business." What a guy. Before taking our van back from him, I asked both him and Kia for quotes on the belts, since those aren't covered under warranty (I had already found out through Kia that the water pump was). Kia said $172 for all belts, but they would do it cheaper since they had to replace the water pump anyway. Doctor Auto said $150, but Kia should charge a lot less, since they need to remove the belts for the water pump anyway. With that, I took the van over to Kia today, trusting that all we'd talked about over the phone would go together magically today.

iPhone: RING!
Me: Hello?
Kia dude: Hello Joshua?
Me: Yessir?
Kia dude: So the sound is your belts, and it is gonna cost $250 to replace those, then we'll be able to hear if there's anything wrong with the water pump.
Me: No.
Kia dude: What?
Me: I know there's something wrong with the water pump, and that that is covered.
Kia dude: Well, it's the belts, and we need to fix those before we can determine if anything else is wrong. [Then he gets condescending, like he's gonna play the "what does this fool know about cars" card] Sir, what do you think is wrong with your water pump?
Me: Look, I took this in to have it checked out before I brought it to you, I KNOW that the water pump is bad, and I KNOW that you have to remove the belts to fix that anyway, so fix the water pump, and the belts and it is covered, except for the cost of the belts.
Kia dude: [he plays the "I'm just the middle man" card] Alright, here's what I'll do, I'm the technician, I'll have the foreman look at it, then I'll call you back and we can go from there.
Me: ok.

LATER:
iPhone: Ring! (which is actually the Old Spice whistle, because I'm a man, man)
Me: Hello?
Kia dude: Hello Joshua?
Me: Yes?
Kia dude: Alright, we took off the belt that was making the noise, and listened to the water pump, and there isn't anything wrong with the pump, but if it will make you feel better, we'll put in a new water pump.
Me: [and I decided not to argue, but I probably should have for principle's sake] Yes, put a new water pump in.
Kia dude: Ok, now this belt is shredded, so we'll put in a new belt, and that will be $130.
Me: ok.
Kia dude: Now you may also need...[blah, blah, warranty void in the future without blah, blah (I'm thinking, "I only have about 100 miles of warranty left on the car anyway dummy") blah, coolant flush, blah.
Me: No thanks, I'll get that done elsewhere. Just do the water pump and the belts.
Kia dude: Ok, we'll get started on that, then you can think about the timing belt and I'll call you back
*click*

Wait, what!? Think about the timing belt? Doesn't that belong to the category of all belts? Belts that must be removed anyway to fix my water pump?

That is where we sit now. I probably won't blog the call he makes to me next, but it will include the "quoted $172 for all belts, but cheaper if water pump done" phrase from my mouth, and also the phrase, "I KNOW that you are just trying to put off fixing things until the last 100 miles of warranty is up," and the classic, "LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!" no really, I'll work that one in, I promise (right after I hang up).

At what point does lying become an excusable part of business? How do people go home at night knowing that I'm in my home imagining them getting mangled by a polar bear because they lied to me?

Sorry about the rant my internet friends (or interneinds, for those of you who are more intimate readers of this blog). I don't want my blog to be the place I rant, but I am home alone with the kids today, and they really don't care to hear it. Surf well my interneinds, surf well.

Would You Do It?

A couple of years ago I made this guy for a sharing time Sunday school lesson:

His name is Goliath, and he has taught me some perspective. It's only a picture, and his hand didn't come out right (I always have trouble drawing hands proportionately), but this guy is big, and whenever I look at him I think, "Would I have had the faith to go out and face this guy, with just a sling?" But that's the point, I guess. David had more than just a sling. He had God on his side and he knew it. 

Below is the whole picture, I took a huge piece of this fibrous paper (used for construction, not art, but it will never tear, it has to be cut), a pencil, eraser, a sharpie, The Bible and a calculator, and calculated his measurements based on his description in 1 Samuel 17:4, "And there went out a champion out of the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span." Then I used my proportions as far as shoulder width, waist, arms, legs, etc. to height, to calculate what his proportions would be.

Dang. That dude was big. I've heard of people facing "their own personal Goliaths," and have even thought that I have faced some of my own giant sized trials in life, but when I look at this guy, I don't know if I know what facing a Goliath is. Would I have charged in against this guy when I was just a young man? That spear + those arms = impaling me and about 5 or 6 other guys behind me to a tree before I raise my sling. I don't know. But I can tell you that I would do it now, no questions asked, even though I am now significantly older, fatter, and less in shape than David was when he faced him. Because I know what David knew. I know that it is all true. That God loves us, and can be our strength if we let Him.